July 13th, 2011

Dear Sofia,

Is signing a document that says one-man-one-woman marriage benefits both spouses and their children in a number of ways a bad thing?

There's an uproar about a "Marriage Vow" political officials have been presented with and their interest in or refutation of what it contains. Here's part of the preamble:

"Enduring marital fidelity between one man and one woman protects innocent children, vulnerable women, the rights of fathers, the stability of families, and the liberties of all American citizens under our republican form of government."

It goes on to state that:

"Our exceptional and free society simply cannot endure without the transmission of personal virtue, from one generation to the next, by means of nurturing, nuclear families comprised of sexually-faithful husbands and wives, fathers and mothers."

The group who penned the 'Vow' asks those who sign to publicly pledge fidelity not only to their spouses (obviously), but to not signing into effect any legislation that would threaten to redefine marriage as anything other than one man, one woman. They also include statements about child rearing ("children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy"), "anti-human rights forms of totalitarian control" such as Sharia Law (Islam), reproductive rights ("robust childbearing and reproduction is beneficial to U.S. demographic, economic, strategic and actuarial health and security") and rights of the yet-born and children.

Here's a passage I particularly like:

"[I vow to uphold] Humane protection of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy – our next generation of American children – from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity, and all forms of pornography and prostitution, infanticide, abortion and other types of coercion or stolen innocence."

"Stolen innocence" truly is contributing to a disintegration of our society.

I read this vow and wondered, why is it so controversial to sign it? Politicians - including our President - do not hide their affiliations with special interest groups or "special" groups of people they'd like to show favor to in their legislation. So why is making it public that you plan to uphold the institution of marriage, thus protecting children's well-being in the process?

We live in an age of "do whatever you want." Men and women commit adultery at the drop of a hat (sometimes out of mere boredom) with no care to the consequences befalling their children. Or, if they are childless, the pain and suffering it causes the non-offending spouse, and the disrespect it shows for marriage itself. All in the name of selfish desire.

When people marry, they take a vow. It's in front of witnesses of some kind, who hear the couple pledge their fidelity which extends to the grave. How, then, is signing a paper that effectively says you're going to govern with the same "you" as made a verbal vow such a crime?

I don't get it.

Love,
Mom