March 31, 2008

Dude, those chickens aren't ready yet

It's not really news to state that the general media has already donned Barack Obama the great (audacious) hope of the youth of America. The crowning is obvious and expected; he's the youngest, the least old-white-man-ish, the one who uses those five dollar hyphenated terms college students are so inclined to casually insert into conversation: post-modern, anti-establishment, pro-democracy.

So the cool new candidate has been established, whoops, I mean to say he has been ushered into the minority spotlight by an urgently anti-government collective of new minds (or whatever). But are any of those new minds actually going to make it to the polls? My sources say no, and thank God for that.

Washington Post reported that, "The last time more than half of 18-to-24-year-olds voted in a federal election was 1968." Not surprising since even Mtv's Rock the Vote campaign, replete with celebrity hotties and star athlete endorsements election year after year, has been unable to mobilize youth voters past the primaries. And yes, 18-25 year-olds have turned out in record numbers to primaries this year. But will they put down the Doritos, Wii, or, heck, homework, on that fateful day in November long enough to scratch their heads and proclaim, "Hey! I'm supposed to be doing something today?" I think not.

But go ahead 18-25 year-olds, make my day. Just know that if you do vote, it's a vote for the man, whatever color and sex he appears to be.

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