I Ain't Gaga for this "Lady"

This will be brief, please just let me vent.

I have wanted for a long time to write about Lady Gaga. Much to her chagrin, it's not because I consider her to be interesting, or edgy, or - her favorite term - avant garde. Despite her best self-promotional intent to convince me otherwise, I do not think she is an artist. Rather, I think she's tacky and contrived.

She says she's an artist. Why? Because she wears shreds of clothing, weird masks and performs bizarre "dances" onstage whilst dousing herself in blood during - I kid you not - a mock crucifixion. That doesn't make you an artist any more than it made Piero Manzoni an artist when he put his own excrement in a jar and sold it in galleries.

She says she's unique and original. Why? Because she has come up with a completely new combination of costumes, face paint and sexual innuendo. Except if you recall that Madonna and David Bowie at all, because if you do you'll notice she has stolen every one of her ideas from one of those two.

She calls herself a lady. This would be laughable if it wasn't so disrespectful to women who cultivate ladyhood. Women who keep their mouths shut when all they have to say is stupid. Women who don't advertise their promiscuity. Women who have something more to offer the world than a long string of expletives.

Posting pictures of this person would be allowing her some amount of credibility, which I assure you she has none of. Just be thankful this may be the first and last time you hear about her. Sorry for the rant.